Calvin Klein snapped up Rain

Just as he was back from Berlin after completing his filming for Speed Racer, his first international movie, Rain was off to the US for his photo shoots for Calvin Klein advertisement campaigns.

Calvin Klein? The American designer with the midas touch? The man who turn a nobody into a somebody. The man whose ads reek sex.

To quote a web writer “Models in Calvin Klein advertisement campaigns are under the watchful eyes of the entire world and it would be impossible not to be a celebrity after appearing on the cover of any CK ad prints or television commercials. CK models are the targets of the media.”

CK models are phenomenally traffic stoppers. And this time CK chooses Rain.

Calvin Klein has endorsed Rain as his spokesman for his range of apparels. For his ads Rain donned CK jeans, t-shirts, pullovers and jackets. No underwear centerfold spreads like Travis Fimmel who sprawled half-naked in prints. Just decently sober photo spreads but tantalizingly provocative.

Rain sported tinted hair reaching well below his nape, disheveled and untidy, tresses falling teasingly over his forehead, covering part of his face and eyes. This mirror a wild, untamed look. Tattoos are everywhere, boldly stamped on his right arm, nesting on the inside of his right wrist, printed on his left hand and one sits sexily just on his right hipbone. Defiant, rebellious, independent a streak in today’s youth. Rain was also seen wearing accessories like hand bands and necklace, evident of a trendy, urban metrosexual male.

His poses were executed to be provocative, sexual and relaxed. The taut, toned muscles of his chest and flat plane of his stomach was sinfully displayed in jackets. Hipster jeans, unbuckled, pushed low by a hand to reveal the famous white band of Calvin Klein underwear. Looking cool over his shoulder he seemed to say “I look different, feel different in a CK. You wanna try one?” But then, something is missing in all his images. His smile. If he had flashed that charming smile of his, like in the Korean Tourism “Sparkling Korea” ad, that would be devastating.

Thinking over, Rain need not smile in his ads, he just need to smile in his heart. This irresistible offer from Calvin Klein will obviously propel him to international stardom. Most CK models move to be hot commodities in the entertainment arena and Rain will no doubt be any different. Everyone will wonder who this sizzling hot Asian guy is. From the Eskimos to the pygmies, they will want to own a pair of CK jeans.

When Brooke Shields said “I don’t care who wears the pants in the family just as long I wear the calvins” there was a smug on her face. Her provocative 1981 ad, “Nothing comes between me and my calvins” caused an uproar.

Advertisement whether commercials or prints, tap on the emotional juice that is in us, manipulating us to think it is a great product worth spending money on. Whether we agree or disagree, advertisements are here to control our lives.

I will try to fit myself into those jeans. It is so sexy to be wearing one. Well first, I will have to make a few adjustments. Trim my tummy, and have the jeans altered short to accommodate my legs. Hey, how much will it costs? Mine is usually RM9.90 from Carrefour. China-made products really spoil the fashion market. But I want to be sexy. I want to flaunt the valley between my fabulous buttocks when I sit or squat down! And I want to display the tattoo below my navel!

A hot dusty day never seem so cool and clear with CK sunglasses. A filthy man never smell so nice with Crave. You never look so sexy and feel so sexy like Rain in a pair of CK jeans. Believe it or not, you make your own judgement. Just follow the flow and be IN.

It is okay to stray

Wan Zainunda was just 31 when she joined us as our distributor. When our marketing guys recruited her, her husband was against the move. He preferred she stayed home to look after their kids and did the house chores. We managed to open her mind to accept a change in her life would mean financial stability, a wider scope of friends and a healthy wellbeing. She was a very timid, submissive woman. With a domineering husband like Abdul Halim, whose profession is a teacher in a rural primary school, she was not parallel in knowledge, intelligence and articulate as him. Whatever he said was final.

But Abdul Halim was no match to our guys. We are trained in the arts of persuasion, influencing and we are more experienced in spotting the weakness in him. Wan Zainunda as we learned, was a good sales woman if given a little boost to her eagerness to excel. She accumulated a collective number of customers. Her business with us grew gradually. She contributed financially to her family’s income which Abdul Halim found extremely straining as time passed by.

Little did she know the reason behind his reluctance for us to rope her in. He fell in love. Everyone in their community knew about his infatuation except Wan Zainunda. Finally she heard from her circle of friends about his infidelity. When she confronted him, he confessed he was in love with his 18 year old student. He was 35. He had loved her since she was 15. She is 3 years older than his eldest child.

When Abdul Halim’s heart was directed elsewhere and his body was on turbo, to satisfy his present need was more important than anything else. He wanted to keep his little Lolita. He needed marital adjustment. He quitted his family and move in with his new love. He promised Wan Zainunda RM1,500 monthly to support his five children. He bought her a Perodua Kancil, he promised to settle the monthly installment.

Like babies, promises are easy to make but hard to deliver. He promised a lot but deliver none. He brought her lots of anguish, heartaches and disillusion. Wan now works as a cook in a hypermarket in Kuala Lumpur and lets out her car to a friend for RM300.00 a month.

This is her life. Her husband decides it is okay to stray just because his religion allows him to marry up to four women at a time. I thought a religion helps bring family together, why does this helps to bring misery and add burden to one. Very strange.

Dog Catching Competition

Just recently the Selayang Municipal Council organized a ‘Dog Catching Competition’ to lessen the number of stray dogs found wandering aimlessly around the communities under its jurisdiction.

Similarly to all other competitions, participants from its 27 Residents Committees have to abide by its rules and guidelines.

· Dogs must be delivered alive.
· Dogs must pose for photographs as evidence, a copy to be submitted.
· Only homeless dogs qualify for this competition.
· Participants will be taught the techniques to catch these dogs. Council to provide the necessary special tools.
· The winner gets RM15,000, runner-up RM13,000 and third prize RM11,000.
· To qualify for these top three spots, at least a minimum of 150 dogs in 6 months.
· An incentive of RM20.00 for every dog caught each month.
· Winners will be announced twice a year.

The Council’s idea did not take off as it had resulted in furious protests from animal lovers, pet owners, NGOs and the general public. Protesters described this move as “inhumane, distasteful, unhealthy, unethical, ridiculous”, the Council claimed it as “fun and financially rewarding”. Some suggested the Council includes cats and Mat Rempit in the competition. I think that would be interesting too. Unlike monkeys, dogs and cats are not delicacies. If they are, we can decrease their population by exporting them. Mat Rempits can be eliminated by expelling them to the Antarctica where they can further practice their motorcycling feats.

Eliminating stray dogs is not an uncommon practice. Back in the old days, dog catchers came armed with rifles. Not many of us could afford to buy a license for our pets so we had to hide them from these catchers. Instead of hearing the pitiful yelping of these injured dogs we could hear the sorrowful weeping of their owners. It was very sad to stand by, helplessly, watching our beloved pets being shot dead. The dog catchers then were not as corrupted as the civil servants today and could not be bribed. No license no dog.

The Council failed to realize or maybe they do, that the prize money comes from taxpayers. Money accumulated through the collection of assessments, quit rents and others charges. RM15,000? I rather stay rabies free or else come every full moon I will turn into a werewolf and start howling uncontrollably.

This competition was launched on Sept 3, by Sept 15 it’s scrapped due to public outcry.

The Scent In Us

Babies have the most irresistible smell of us all. They have this distinctive milky smell that makes us want to cuddle them, bury our face into them and just smell the freshness in them. As we grow we develop our own kind of scent that can be attractive to some and repellent to others. Usually we are not aware of our own smell. We have to depend on the person next to us to tell us.

How do we get this unpleasant smell. By sweating! When we perspires, bacteria begin to reproduce in the warm, moist areas of the body. They multiply and then die, releasing an odour to the atmosphere as they decompose.

Having body odour can be a worry and an embarrassment. It may offend our colleagues at our work place, our customers, our friends and even members of our family. Pungent odour irritates the nose and keep people away from us. Business deals are never closed as our potential customers will not get to breathe let alone stay a while longer besides us. They are too busy concentrating to find an excuse to get rid of us! We may not know how many friends we retain, how many people we have attracted, how many business deals we have closed if we are odourless.

The most popular way to mask this offensive smell is by applying perfumes or antiperspirant or deodorant. Spraying perfumes may be one way to camouflage the presence of body odour. But certain chemicals found in the preparation of perfumes may cause allergic reaction to skin. Anyway, perfumes do not come cheap! Another alternative way may be to use antiperspirant to control perspiration. Blocking up our pores and stopping our body from sweating is unhealthy. Sweating is one way to rid our body of toxins and body temperature is regulated during perspiration. Using deodorant is also a solution to clear our body odour. As long as deodorant contains no harmful chemicals which absorbed into the skin, liver, kidney will cause blood poisoning and cancer.

In fact the best way is by exercising a more active personal hygiene. Bathing and showering more often or sponging away the sticky sweat after we came back after a hot spell under the sun. Change our clothes frequently is a good recommendation.

Bless are those who do not have body odour!

Fragrance Incense

The minute I walked into the room I sensed your presence. I know then that I want you so.

If I am referring to the sensual scent of perfume, then this is the most acceptable phrase to describe it. But no, this heady scent I detected the instance I stepped into our reception on a tired, grudging Monday morning was the scent of incense.

Coming from a family of Tao worshippers, I should not be voicing it nor should I mention it annoyed me that morning. That was no ordinary joss stick. Its scent was more pungent than the ones my mother normally used.

Kili was into her prayers. She was warned not to light her joss sticks but she took no heed since the big boss was away holidaying. Well, this is testing our strength of tolerance.

Am I drunk?

In every Korean drama, there is at least a scene or two where the main characters got drunk. Lying on the streets intoxicated. Pouring their hearts out at the bars. Punching each other senseless. Vomiting all over another. Getting mauled by an over-romantic suitor.

As alcohol does not go well with me, I rationed the amount I poured down my throat. It was someone’s birthday. Yan Lee dished up some ‘cuisines’ and we feasted on a delicious meal in office. We finished it off with half a glass of red wine. That toppled me.

Half an hour later, my heart decided to gallop a teeny bit faster that its usual beat. My face, it felt so warm - I had just emerged from the sauna. I spotted two very flattering rosy cheeks, just back from the North Pole! I had to battle the sleepiness that swept over me. I could hardly prized my eyes opened. I just wanted to sleep. And my boss, Florence was yapping and yapping with our customer, Peter. So irritatingly noisy. My brain was abnormally lazy. Recognizing the alphabets and numerals on the keyboard took a longer time. Both claimed I was high but I refer to call it sleepy. I did not behave like those Korean actors.

I found that sipping wines simultaneously with cheese and biscuits did not affect me that way. Except for a slight increased in my heart beats and warm pinkish cheeks, I was normal. Can it be that the alcohol level is lower or has it anything to do with the cold weather then.

A slow day in the office

It is a slow day today. The working environment is more relax and not so tense. Today is Wednesday. Our GM is on leave. He goes on leave every Wednesday. Being a GM has his perks. He has no one above him here. His boss is too far away to know what is going on in this office.

When the cat is away the mice will come out to play. Managers reporting to work slightly later than usual. Longer tea and lunch breaks. Go visit clients and spending longer time with them. We can eat durians today! Eat as much petai as we want, polluting the air, bringing nausea to others. Feasting on chinese rice wine and getting drowsy afterwards.

What a wonderful day! Wait till your sales figures are unsatisfactory, you are answerable to your own actions.

I am writing this during my lunch hour, not misusing company's time