It lifted my spirit to see Lily shopping for her groceries at Giant. I was glad she was full of energy. Her voice was strong and her strength was rejuvenated by what she was sharing with mom & me. The subject in our conversation was her mother.
At 81, age has rendered her mom physically frail. She is frightfully weak in her capacity to remember.
Because of family and work, everyone lives separately from her parents. Lily and her brothers decided to rely on domestic help. To start with, her mom was a bit picky with the maids. She was suspicious of them, finding faults, eventually accusing them of hugging and sleeping with her 90 year old husband. When questioned about his improper behavior, her father replied he knew nothing about it. Lily shivered in apprehension each time the maids lodged their complaints and threatened to resign. None of them stayed for long.
While waiting for the next maid to report for duty, Lily registered her parents in the old folk’s home in Taiping. Male and female residents have separate sections but during the nights, with the magical spell of love sparkling brightly, uncle would crept into the women’s dormitory to cuddle in auntie’s warm single bed. Security must be slightly lax here to permit him to do so.
Whenever she visited Lily, she caused havoc by storing the groceries in the kitchen drawers. A potato tucked between the forks and spoons, onions in the cooking pots and even mixing her stewed pork with her watercress soup.
For her convenience at night, Lily placed a potty chair beside her bed. She would mess up by peeing on the lid. She hid her jewelries and later her muddled brain could not recall where she had hid them. On her knees she would plead, promising to reward Lily half of the find.
Age is a problem all of us will face in later years to come. When young we could not understand why our grandparents were grumpy, forgetful and behaved strangely. We were impatient, irritated and at times indifferent to them. We often brush it aside by concluding ‘old already like that one’. By listening to people discussing about their aged parents, I realized this is more than ‘old’ . It is a serious problem we have to accept in a more tolerable manner and hope we will not end up like Lily’s mother. It made my tears flow recalling my mom’s words that as she progresses towards her twilight age, she hopes she will not burden or embarrass us in any way.
If we read in the papers that elderly persons were found wandering the streets alone, not knowing where their homes are, or we heard them accusing their children for forsaking them, packing them off to retirement homes, we should not jump into conclusion that their children have abandoned them but to understand that their children’s actions are beyond their control and they have tried hard to tackle their dilemma as best they can.
At 81, age has rendered her mom physically frail. She is frightfully weak in her capacity to remember.
Because of family and work, everyone lives separately from her parents. Lily and her brothers decided to rely on domestic help. To start with, her mom was a bit picky with the maids. She was suspicious of them, finding faults, eventually accusing them of hugging and sleeping with her 90 year old husband. When questioned about his improper behavior, her father replied he knew nothing about it. Lily shivered in apprehension each time the maids lodged their complaints and threatened to resign. None of them stayed for long.
While waiting for the next maid to report for duty, Lily registered her parents in the old folk’s home in Taiping. Male and female residents have separate sections but during the nights, with the magical spell of love sparkling brightly, uncle would crept into the women’s dormitory to cuddle in auntie’s warm single bed. Security must be slightly lax here to permit him to do so.
Whenever she visited Lily, she caused havoc by storing the groceries in the kitchen drawers. A potato tucked between the forks and spoons, onions in the cooking pots and even mixing her stewed pork with her watercress soup.
For her convenience at night, Lily placed a potty chair beside her bed. She would mess up by peeing on the lid. She hid her jewelries and later her muddled brain could not recall where she had hid them. On her knees she would plead, promising to reward Lily half of the find.
Age is a problem all of us will face in later years to come. When young we could not understand why our grandparents were grumpy, forgetful and behaved strangely. We were impatient, irritated and at times indifferent to them. We often brush it aside by concluding ‘old already like that one’. By listening to people discussing about their aged parents, I realized this is more than ‘old’ . It is a serious problem we have to accept in a more tolerable manner and hope we will not end up like Lily’s mother. It made my tears flow recalling my mom’s words that as she progresses towards her twilight age, she hopes she will not burden or embarrass us in any way.
If we read in the papers that elderly persons were found wandering the streets alone, not knowing where their homes are, or we heard them accusing their children for forsaking them, packing them off to retirement homes, we should not jump into conclusion that their children have abandoned them but to understand that their children’s actions are beyond their control and they have tried hard to tackle their dilemma as best they can.
I do not know what kind of person I will evolve into. Hope that life is sweet as I slowly wither away.
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