Dog Catching Competition

Just recently the Selayang Municipal Council organized a ‘Dog Catching Competition’ to lessen the number of stray dogs found wandering aimlessly around the communities under its jurisdiction.

Similarly to all other competitions, participants from its 27 Residents Committees have to abide by its rules and guidelines.

· Dogs must be delivered alive.
· Dogs must pose for photographs as evidence, a copy to be submitted.
· Only homeless dogs qualify for this competition.
· Participants will be taught the techniques to catch these dogs. Council to provide the necessary special tools.
· The winner gets RM15,000, runner-up RM13,000 and third prize RM11,000.
· To qualify for these top three spots, at least a minimum of 150 dogs in 6 months.
· An incentive of RM20.00 for every dog caught each month.
· Winners will be announced twice a year.

The Council’s idea did not take off as it had resulted in furious protests from animal lovers, pet owners, NGOs and the general public. Protesters described this move as “inhumane, distasteful, unhealthy, unethical, ridiculous”, the Council claimed it as “fun and financially rewarding”. Some suggested the Council includes cats and Mat Rempit in the competition. I think that would be interesting too. Unlike monkeys, dogs and cats are not delicacies. If they are, we can decrease their population by exporting them. Mat Rempits can be eliminated by expelling them to the Antarctica where they can further practice their motorcycling feats.

Eliminating stray dogs is not an uncommon practice. Back in the old days, dog catchers came armed with rifles. Not many of us could afford to buy a license for our pets so we had to hide them from these catchers. Instead of hearing the pitiful yelping of these injured dogs we could hear the sorrowful weeping of their owners. It was very sad to stand by, helplessly, watching our beloved pets being shot dead. The dog catchers then were not as corrupted as the civil servants today and could not be bribed. No license no dog.

The Council failed to realize or maybe they do, that the prize money comes from taxpayers. Money accumulated through the collection of assessments, quit rents and others charges. RM15,000? I rather stay rabies free or else come every full moon I will turn into a werewolf and start howling uncontrollably.

This competition was launched on Sept 3, by Sept 15 it’s scrapped due to public outcry.

The Scent In Us

Babies have the most irresistible smell of us all. They have this distinctive milky smell that makes us want to cuddle them, bury our face into them and just smell the freshness in them. As we grow we develop our own kind of scent that can be attractive to some and repellent to others. Usually we are not aware of our own smell. We have to depend on the person next to us to tell us.

How do we get this unpleasant smell. By sweating! When we perspires, bacteria begin to reproduce in the warm, moist areas of the body. They multiply and then die, releasing an odour to the atmosphere as they decompose.

Having body odour can be a worry and an embarrassment. It may offend our colleagues at our work place, our customers, our friends and even members of our family. Pungent odour irritates the nose and keep people away from us. Business deals are never closed as our potential customers will not get to breathe let alone stay a while longer besides us. They are too busy concentrating to find an excuse to get rid of us! We may not know how many friends we retain, how many people we have attracted, how many business deals we have closed if we are odourless.

The most popular way to mask this offensive smell is by applying perfumes or antiperspirant or deodorant. Spraying perfumes may be one way to camouflage the presence of body odour. But certain chemicals found in the preparation of perfumes may cause allergic reaction to skin. Anyway, perfumes do not come cheap! Another alternative way may be to use antiperspirant to control perspiration. Blocking up our pores and stopping our body from sweating is unhealthy. Sweating is one way to rid our body of toxins and body temperature is regulated during perspiration. Using deodorant is also a solution to clear our body odour. As long as deodorant contains no harmful chemicals which absorbed into the skin, liver, kidney will cause blood poisoning and cancer.

In fact the best way is by exercising a more active personal hygiene. Bathing and showering more often or sponging away the sticky sweat after we came back after a hot spell under the sun. Change our clothes frequently is a good recommendation.

Bless are those who do not have body odour!

Fragrance Incense

The minute I walked into the room I sensed your presence. I know then that I want you so.

If I am referring to the sensual scent of perfume, then this is the most acceptable phrase to describe it. But no, this heady scent I detected the instance I stepped into our reception on a tired, grudging Monday morning was the scent of incense.

Coming from a family of Tao worshippers, I should not be voicing it nor should I mention it annoyed me that morning. That was no ordinary joss stick. Its scent was more pungent than the ones my mother normally used.

Kili was into her prayers. She was warned not to light her joss sticks but she took no heed since the big boss was away holidaying. Well, this is testing our strength of tolerance.

Am I drunk?

In every Korean drama, there is at least a scene or two where the main characters got drunk. Lying on the streets intoxicated. Pouring their hearts out at the bars. Punching each other senseless. Vomiting all over another. Getting mauled by an over-romantic suitor.

As alcohol does not go well with me, I rationed the amount I poured down my throat. It was someone’s birthday. Yan Lee dished up some ‘cuisines’ and we feasted on a delicious meal in office. We finished it off with half a glass of red wine. That toppled me.

Half an hour later, my heart decided to gallop a teeny bit faster that its usual beat. My face, it felt so warm - I had just emerged from the sauna. I spotted two very flattering rosy cheeks, just back from the North Pole! I had to battle the sleepiness that swept over me. I could hardly prized my eyes opened. I just wanted to sleep. And my boss, Florence was yapping and yapping with our customer, Peter. So irritatingly noisy. My brain was abnormally lazy. Recognizing the alphabets and numerals on the keyboard took a longer time. Both claimed I was high but I refer to call it sleepy. I did not behave like those Korean actors.

I found that sipping wines simultaneously with cheese and biscuits did not affect me that way. Except for a slight increased in my heart beats and warm pinkish cheeks, I was normal. Can it be that the alcohol level is lower or has it anything to do with the cold weather then.

A slow day in the office

It is a slow day today. The working environment is more relax and not so tense. Today is Wednesday. Our GM is on leave. He goes on leave every Wednesday. Being a GM has his perks. He has no one above him here. His boss is too far away to know what is going on in this office.

When the cat is away the mice will come out to play. Managers reporting to work slightly later than usual. Longer tea and lunch breaks. Go visit clients and spending longer time with them. We can eat durians today! Eat as much petai as we want, polluting the air, bringing nausea to others. Feasting on chinese rice wine and getting drowsy afterwards.

What a wonderful day! Wait till your sales figures are unsatisfactory, you are answerable to your own actions.

I am writing this during my lunch hour, not misusing company's time